G'S SPOT - FA-Q, G!

(Frequently Asked Questions)

Q: G, why do you spell words so funny-like?
 
A: Because I grew up in Canada, hosehead. The main reason I started the G's Spot was to share photos with some Canadian-based family, so I stuck with Canadian spelling even though I was living in the U.S.A. That said, I often get confused between American, Canadian, and British spellings, and sometimes just pick one without looking up which is correct or consistent.

Q: G, your website is so cool. Can I hire you to make one for me?
 
A: No way, eh. If you have the high intelligence and sophisticated taste required to appreciate the G's Spot then surely you can make an even better website yourself. Besides, I stopped working a regular job around 2009 to care for my sick parents. I was still doing odd jobs for people but charged far too little and sometimes even forgot to bill clients, so to protect myself from self-exploitation I had to retire. I'm kind of like the A Team now, except I'm a one-man force, with the key A-Team quote being, "If you can find them, maybe you can hire [them]," i.e. I could come out of retirement but you have to find me first, then make me an offer I can't refuse. Sorry, but that seems unlikely, sucka.

Q: G, you sound like a real swell guy, looking after your parents and all. Would you be interested in dating my daughter?
 
A: Maybe. How big are her jugs?

Q: G, you looked ripped in those Hawaii photos. What is your exercise regimen?
 
A: Remember P-90X? It's garbage. I do the G-365XXX. It's mostly eating more vegetables, fewer "food-like substances," and getting off my arse once in a while and doing something active. The rest of my secrets are to be revealed in a VHS instructional to be marketed on late-night over-the-air TV channels. My plan is to gradually increase my fitness every year and peak in my 80's like Wang Deshun, then pick up some risky hobbies like BASE jumping and using "big doodig" so I go down in flames real quick and avoid my mother's fate.

Q: G, how can you rap so rough, but yet classy?
 
A: 'Cause I'm smooth.

Q: G, how can I make my images look as crappy and retro as the ones on your website?
 
A: Some of the images are scans of photo prints made from film. Most of the time I still edit photos with Photoshop 5.5 and use its "save for web" function to adjust jpeg size and quality. The feature dates from the era when people were using dial-up, loading large files could take all day, and your parents might pick up the phone anytime and cause a loss of connection. The feature also strips off most of the jpeg EXIF data, which is handy if you value your privacy. Any photo editing software should still give you a quality setting for jpegs when you save. Dial it way down to "crappy." I can't speak for WebP images, which seem to be becoming the web standard -- they won't even open on my computer.

Q: G, Coke or Pepsi?
 
A: Moxie.

Q: G, how can I find you?
 
A: Be resourceful, you knob. As mentioned, I'm like the A Team, deep deep undercover, except I don't drive around in an instantly recognizable van. I'm not on social media and I don't have an Internet plan. I find most of the internet is over-commercialized, a cesspool of hate, ignorance, narcissism, mis- and dis-information, and generally a waste of time, the G's Spot being a rare exception, a place where cat content still rules, giving you the straight goods, ad-sponsored yet incorruptible and beholden to no one, until somebody offers me more money, narcissistic yet self-deprecating, equally racist and offensive to all races, cultures, and sexual orientations, a beacon of Internet freedom, a shining light on a hill, a life-changing inspiration for all four people who have seen it.

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